Dealing with others feelings

I don't know how many of you have families that are very set in their ways, but I for one do. Well, just one of my 3 families, but still it is something that I am somewhat dreading dealing with for now. As I have learned more about the dangers of cross contamination etc, I am trying to be more and more careful. With that said, we have our first extended family gathering on Sunday and I am just too scared to go. Especially after the soy sauce incident and the hyperactivity that ensued.

I know that I have a hard time expressing myself clearly, but I didn't expect to be hit with such resistance when asking to please just excuse us from dinner because we are not ready for the challenges that come with a potluck dinner. It was taken as me being testy and asking for the meal to be made special, when I was, in fact, asking that we just don't go this time because I don't want him to feel too out of place when he is struggling to want to eat gluten free at this time and with so many little kids running around, cross contamination seems inevitable.

Well, after a lot of back and forth, I am sure that I didn't express my feelings clearly still and I seem more dramatic than anything, but I will take that even if drama wasn't my point. If I just wanted attention, I have a million other things happening in my life that I could point out rather than making my son feel even more like an outsider. I guess the good things that may have come from it are that with each, "surely one crumb wouldn't hurt", "so-and-so eats potlucks all the time just fine" etc, I was able to hopefully provide some education to my family so in the future this won't be such an issue.

This morning I talked to my son in private and asked him if he was okay with the decision that we had made to avoid the dinner and he said that he was fine. He doesn't want to feel different by bringing his own food and having a bunch of questions yet, he isn't ready for that. I don't blame him.

I will keep you posted on how things go because I am sure that all the resistance is from others being overwhelmed with life and a lack of knowledge of what we are going through..  here is to a life of hard dinners!